Two weeks ago today my daughter was packing up to go to the beach with some friends.
She had her list of things to take with her on the trip and was in the process of gathering them about this time of the morning.
As she and her friends moved down the highway in her favorite car, a Camero, she was delighted to be going fast and feeling fine.
I don’t understand the agreement she had to move out of her body at this time. I do accept that it was her choice. She made the decision to be my daughter, to have a wonderful son and to be in that car going so fast down the road.
We all have choices, all the time, choices.
Most of them we are not even consciously aware of, nonetheless, we make them.
They impact our lives and the lives of those who agreed to share the earthly journey with us.
In two weeks I have gone from not even thinking about the “death” of my children to dealing with funeral details and packing up the stuff one had gathered.
I have cried and laughed, thought and wondered.
Then I made a choice. To stop being sad at her passing. I chose to celebrate her life and the time we had together. I will miss sitting down to eat with her and laughing about the grandson’s latest antics, but I know she still IS.
I don’t know what she’s doing or exactly where she is right now, but I do know she’s enjoying it in her own way. I know she chose this part of the path at this point in time. I know she now sees the BIG picture that due to our limited vision of yesterday and tomorrow we more often than not don’t get a glimpse of.
As I pack her clothing, dishes, shoes and what nots, I celebrate her smiles, her laughter, her love of life.
I make a choice to live a joyous life. I make a choice to be more aware, to live more openly and to share love with more hugs, words of kindness and understanding.
She will always be a part of my life. This I know. She is not gone, only visiting somewhere else until her next choice.