Who are you blaming for your life

Stop the Blame

I don’t know how many times each month someone comes to me for coaching and starts off by telling me whose fault it it that they are not living the life they really want.  I am shocked by adults who still blame their parents for things done years ago.  I generally ask, “when are you going to let that go and just live your life”?

When you stop blaming others and start taking responsibility for your life, magic happens.  Looking at what has happened and getting the gift from it, the insight into your own self, empowers you to move forward.  Staying in the past, holding onto the pain prevents you from moving forward.  How can you develop your life and dreams with the past holding you fast in place?  You can’t.

I realize that you might have had some very traumatic experiences, truth be told, most of us have.  The key is what you decide to do with the experiences.  Take a different look at the past.  Ask yourself a few questions. 

1. What does this experience tell me about myself that I want to know?

2. Does it remind me that I am now a powerful person able to make my own choices?

3. What inner strength can I claim through this experience?

4. How can I use this experience to inspire, motivate and move me forward?

By taking note of the messages of the past you can expand in your self awareness, seeing yourself as more powerful, more able to make different choices now.

Make peace with the past, live in the now and create the next now with love, positive expectation and personal power.  You can do it.

Need help dealing with the past? Try a coaching session with me.

Clinging to fear keeps you in the fear loop

IMAG0048   You know that fear is energy, just like love.  Energy always seeks to expand, increase to experience more of itself.  Then why do you cling to your fear?  You know that this only assures more to feel fearful of.  You say you want life to change for you yet you refuse to let go of the fear.  You hold onto all those dreadful what if thoughts as though you really want them to come into form all the while saying you hope they don’t show up.

You are guarantying that they will as long  as you continue to give all your  energy to fear.  Fear, like love, increases the more attention you give to it.  The reason unwanted stuff shows up  so quickly is that you pour more energy, more passion, pay more attention to unwanted circumstances.  Refuse this thinking and you change the flow of your life.  Realizing that you are the creator bringing things into form through thought, beliefs, passion and your actions places you in the driver’s seat.  You can now come to the conclusion that a simple shift of thinking has the power to change everything. 

A simple exercise will reveal this truth to you.  Stand in a dark room by the light switch.  Don’t touch the switch, just stand there and take note of the darkness.  After a minute or two reach over and turn on the light.  Wow, how easy that is.  The darkness doesn’t resist, the light doesn’t battle in order to destroy the darkness and win the day.  Just that easily you can choose to shift thoughts from what is wrong to your actual state of self.  You are light, you are love, you are joy, you are prosperity.  This is the actual state of Who You Are.  Staying focused on who you are allows you to create from this place, bringing into form things in alignment with this energy rather than the energy of fear and lack.

Many people tell me how hard it is to move away from the fear thoughts as they are all around them.  They say it’s hard to ignore the what is that stinks when you have to deal with it every day.  True.  It’s hard feeling to change your course from being a worry wart to being who you really are.  It takes practice, lots of practice.  Repeat the exercise above often to remind you that while it feels hard it’s actually easy to shift.  It’s a matter of choice.  You and only you get to decide what you think about and how you think about anything. 

The real question is are my thoughts in line with what I wish to experience myself as being.  When they are not shift those thoughts into alignment with Who You Are rather than who you are not.  With daily practice you will one day find that you have thought yourself into the light without a fight.

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Doing things the easy way, law of attraction options

1267660036qQkNkIV More often than most of us would like to admit we do things the hard way.  We struggle and fight with conditions and situations in an attempt to force them into compliance with our wishes. This is really doing things the hard way.  Once something is in physical form you can either let go of it or change your attitude to it, that’s the fun and easy way.  Going back to the creative drawing board and starting from where you are is also the easy way.  Just drop what you’ve got that you are not enjoying and take time to feel your way to a new creation more in line with what you desire to experience.

Using your imagination to really see and play out a new situation brings you in touch with your creative powers.  Learning to let things go and flow is the key.  Often we feel compelled to hold onto and force situations or relationships to work when the easy thing to do would be to just let them go and flow.  Starting from where you are begin creating again. Starting right where you are right now you can began working with I AM declarations to create what you desire to experience yourself as.


Remember to have fun with the creative process.  It’s really all about doing things the easy and fun way.  You’re only job is to enjoy yourself as a powerful creator. You really do get to do things your way and if you don’t like the results go back to creating.  Recognize that what you are bringing into physical reality is a reflection of your deep beliefs, so when things show up that you are not tickled with let them give you a message.  The message is a reminder to shift beliefs and looks for the gift in the present circumstance.  For instance say you are desiring more prosperity in your life but lack keeps showing up.  Realize that your beliefs about money, abundance and success are always the foundation for your outer creations.  Look at the lack and thank it for reminding you to shift your beliefs and for reminding you that you are indeed the energy of abundance.

Getting into the flow of allowing things to be easy and fun will bring about your desires more quickly than stress, worry and lots of hard work.  The doing comes last, being is always first.  You create from your I AM Being place, not the doing place.  Line up with Being abundance and then inspired action will bring things about quickly and easily.

Learning to go with the fun flow takes practice, but it will pay off with huge rewards in the end.